Voodoo Enronomics

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

Political Humor

Bill Clinton, John Kerry, and George W. Bush face a firing squad in a

small Central American country. Bill Clinton is first placed against the

wall, and just before the order to shoot him is given, he yells,

Earthquake!" The firing squad falls into a panic and Bill jumps over the

wall and escapes in the confusion.

John Kerry is the second one placed against the wall. The squad is

reassembled and John ponders what his old pal Bill has done. Before the

order to shoot is given, John yells, "Tornado!" Again, the squad falls

apart and Kerry slips over the wall.

The last person, George W. Bush, is placed against the wall. He is

thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop

over the wall." As the firing squad is reassembled and the rifles raised

in his direction, he grins his famous smirk and yells, "Fire!"